Anyone else seeing red at this point in the summer? Maybe it is just me, but my own monsters are putting me through the ringer! I have tried everything- well maybe not everything- and I just cannot stay calm....... I feel defeated by my 7, 5, & 3 year old! Hopefully I am not the only one! Anyone find anything to help you get through the dog days of summer?
At this point in the summer, I have found myself using (empty?) threats like 'if you don't do this....then I will.....' or 'no more TV for a week'. Sound familiar? I am treating my children like they are the problem. The problem is the 8 plus weeks they have out of structured routines.... and the 8 plus weeks I have out of structured routines.
We have daily routines, we have expectations, we have activities- I am mostly consistent- but, WOW, they don’t always work. The other day I yelled at my kiddos for eating goldfish on the couch....this is never allowed, they eat at the table. So as I am yelling, my oldest looks at me and says 'mum, your stuff is all over the table and we did not want to bug you'. I stopped in my track....could I be fuelling the fire? No way...well maybe....probably, most definitely!
My reactions are fast, my stress level is high, and my kiddos are everywhere!!! I had to step back for a second- take a breath (as my watch likes to beep in and say BREATHE). It is ok. My children were hungry. They were able to get food on their own so I could have time to myself. Is that really a bad thing? NO!!!! The point is, it is so easy for us, the adults, to lose track of what is important and focus on what 'we always do' or what 'we expect others to always do'. Kiddos are still kiddos trying to navigate this crazy fast paced world. Adults are just big kiddos trying to navigate this crazy fast paced world. HOWEVER, we had a childhood and it is our responsibility to not steal our children's because we want things to be a certain way. Who cares if my kiddos eat goldfish on the couch? Who cares where they eat in living room if I changed their routine of eating at the table (by covering it in my work)? They adapted, why can't I?
Why can't I adapt to change easily and without frustration? I don't know. Maybe it is because of the challenges in teaching an ole dog new tricks or maybe it is because I want things my way....whatever it is, I need to get over it if I want to be calm, cool, and collected...and if I want to see life's moments positively. It is easy to fight change with frustration and fear. BUT, it is not fun to fight change in that way. It is better to see life through a lens of learning to adapt, to go with the flow with a practical positivity...in other words, it is ok to get frustrated, feel challenged, get angry...but you cannot let it consume you...especially when it is the little things that most kiddos bring, like eating goldfish on the couch.
So, to find my practical positivity I have returned to my journal- writing about my thoughts, reflections, feelings, and, at this point in the summer, my frustrations. It helps! I returned to journaling for my personal development recently- as a support to get through the summer. Anyone have luck with intermittent journaling for challenging times?
Here are some benefits of using a Journal for your frustrations and challenges:
A journal supports clarity in your emotions, thoughts and interpretations of experiences.
A journal supports reflection of experiences in order to help you make sense from different experiences.
A journal provides an outlet for expressing difficult emotions, such as anger and frustration, without hurting someone you love
A journal helps put things into perspective, see things in different lights (practical positivity), and move on!
The benefit of reflective journals is written about extensively for both personal and professional practices. I am not always the best at keeping a journal on my personal reflections- Writing down our experiences helps us to make sense of our interpretations, our feelings, and our beliefs. Journal for your development- both personal & professional. When developing your mindset, reflection on your experiences is critical.